Of Sappy Emails and Smiley Faces
by chasingafterstarlight
Summary: Well, now Jade and André have each others' email addresses- really, what could go wrong? /JadeAndré, takes place post-Jade Gets Dumped. Humor.


**Of Sappy Emails and Smiley Faces**

**Jade/André**

**..**

**To:**André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>Subject<strong>: re: the song

Hey, Harris.  
>Thanks for sending the song. We're going big with this one, you do realize? Like, schoolwide famous. Everyone will know our names.<br>What's up with your email, by the way? It sounds like a children's dvd. "We're makin' music in our hearts!' In my opinion, if your heart is making music, GO TO THE HOSPITAL. You're probably having a heart attack or some crap.  
>Sheesh, get a life or you don't deserve to have one.<br>Anyway, yeah, thanks or whatever. We beat those child-band dorks at performing any day.  
>- Jade<p>

**To**: Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>Subject<strong>: re: re: the song

Girl, why are we going with last names now? Well, then, West, you know we'll be famous, baby. As in, the prodigies of Hollywood Arts.  
>After the Diddlybops. I did seriously consider it... kidding! But I like to make music; it's one of the reasons that I'm at Hollywood Arts. Is that a bad thing now?<br>My heart's making music for you. ;) Kidding, again.  
>Obviously, we're going to make it big time.<br>Also, uh, this is kinda random, but did you like my song? The one that, uh, I wrote for my dog?  
>- André<p>

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>Subject: <strong>re: re: re: the song

Because I feel like it. If I feel like doing something, I do it. That includes throwing scissors at your head. You'd better hope that I miss.  
>Are we not <em>already<em> the prodigies of Hollywood Arts? Because, last I recall, we make a pretty amazing team.  
>Please don't, or I would have to hate you, and that'd just be a darn shame. Yes, it is a bad thing if you make your email something corny like <em>makinmusic<em>. Seriously. Can you not be creative, Harris?  
>…I don't know how to respond to that, so I won't.<br>Obviously. And I had no idea that you were into bestiality, but to each his own, I suppose. The song was cute—the fluff factor of it made me want to vomit, but it was a nice song for your dog.  
>- Jade<p>

**To**: Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject**: re: re: re: re: the song

If you actually hit me in the head… never mind, I don't want to think about it. Would you not like, go to jail or something, girl? That's pretty creepy, to say the least.  
>We do make an amazing team, yes. Probably one of the best in the history of Hollywood Arts. A team for the legends, to be honest.<br>It would be a darn shame, because I mean, that's someone's loss… can't decide if it's yours or mine. I can be creative! But uh, Tori suggested it, and that girl has a small lack of creativity. No offense or anything.  
>You could, you know, say something sweet bad. Being nice won't kill you.<br>I'm not into bestiality! I mean… there's no real explanation, so uh, whatever!  
>- André<p>

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **re: re: re: re: re: the song

Sorry, I can't reply to this message. I died from kindness.

-Jade

..

**To:** André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject**: Proposal

So, Harris, I'm thinking I might write a play that's hopefully less morbid, and, well, I was thinking of having it be a musical. Since you're some prodigy and stuff, I was thinking you might be interested in writing some music for it.

Say you're interested. I have scissors and I'm not afraid to use them.

-Jade West

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From: <strong>André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject: **re: Proposal

There's no need to threaten me, I'm definitely interested. Gimme a time and a place, and I'll be there. Just, uh… try and leave your scissors behind, yeah? Those, I'm not so interested in or curious about.

But, uh, thanks for decreasing the morbidness?

-André Harris (why the need for last names? Have we not been friends for ages?)

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject:** re: re: Proposal

There's always a need for physical violence. All right, then. Tomorrow at the school at 6 PM. Be there, or be a complete loser with a lack of a social life and no girlfriend.

Any time.

-Jade West (I like my name better with my last name. Deal.)

..

**To: **Tori Vega (makeitshine)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject**: HELP!

I think… no, I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with Jade again and _this time it's not going away._

Baby, do you believe it's not just a phase?

Actually, I don't think I ever stopped! Loving her, that is.

I mean, seriously, she's beautiful and her voice and her face and _Tori, she's Beck's girlfriend!_

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Tori Vega (makeitshine)

**Subject**: re: HELP!

André, first, calm down! I'm pretty sure you're not in love with Jade Just remember that she's not just her singing voice. Remember all the times that she's made fun of you and me, remember all the horrible things she's done to everyone around you, and I'm sure it'll go away :D

Besides, you made it evident that you're only in love with her voice and looks!

**To: **Tori Vega (makeitshine)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject**: re: re: HELP!

No, no, Tori, I'm completely serious and completely calm and OH, WHO AM I KIDDING? I'm freaking out D:

It's not a phase, not this time! I can't stop thinking about her, and it's not just about her face, because then I would've fallen in love with her before, you know? It's just everything about her and I remember all of that, girl, I really do, but it isn't stopping me from thinking of everything good that I know about her!

_How can I get to you? You're the one I can't lose. I'll try 365 days, 365 ways to get to you._

…yeah, I'm screwed.

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Tori Vega (makeitshine)

**Subject**: re: re: re: HELP!

André…. I'll give you some honest advice :D

How about you buy her a gift? Girls like gifts, and even if Jade is hardly your typical girl, I'm sure that you could find her _something_ that she'd, well, appreciate.

**To: **Tori Vega (makeitshine)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject**: re: re: re: re: HELP!

Thanks, Tor, you're a star!

..

**To**: Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject**: Present

Hey, I might have gotten you a little something-something ;)

**To**: André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **re: Present

Is it a pair of scissors?

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject: **re: re: Present

Should it be?

**To**: André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From: <strong>Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **re: re: re: Present

Yes.

..

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From: <strong>Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject**: Thanks.

Thanks for the scissors. I cut up one of the shirts Beck left at my house one night.

He wasn't pleased. I was, cause they work well—the scissors, I mean. ;) Beck too.

But yeah, thanks.

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject**: re: Thanks

Beck left his _shirt_? At your _house_? …never mind, I really don't want to know. But uh, glad you liked them?

..

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **I know I don't _do_ insecurity and all of that but I'm pretty sure that Beck's going to break up with me and if you ever tell anyone about this you're going to die.

Hey.

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject**: Jade, why do you think that? Cause Beck loves you and all…

Hey, there.

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **Because he can't stop looking at Tori, the perfect little _freak_, and we haven't been spending as much time together and I don't know how to deal! Why would anyone want to dump me, especially for HER?

Want to borrow some scissors?

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject: **I'm sure that he doesn't want to dump you! Maybe he and Tor are working on a project together or something? Calm down, girl! I'm pretty sure there's an explanation for all of this.

Nah, I'm good.

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **Liar. There is something going on with them, because Beck just dumped me with no explanation whatsoever and I just… how could they do that?

But they're sharp!

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject**: Ugh, I'm sorry… I'll be there in a few minutes, all right? Just hang on until then. I'll yell at Beck if you need me to.

I don't want to know what you do with those scissors.

..

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From: <strong>Beck Oliver (hairtodare)

**Subject: **(no subject)

I'm sorry.

**To: **Beck Oliver (hairtodare)  
><strong>From: <strong>Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **re: (no subject)

Go away. I'm not.

..

**To:**Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makeitshine)

**Subject:**new look

I like your new hair streaks. They make you look... edgier, I guess you could say?  
>Uh, yeah, I just wanted to say that :) <p>

**To:**André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject:**re: new look  
>Thanks, Harris. Glad <em>someone<em>noticed.  
>You up for smoothies? I'm not paying, but.<p>

**To**; Jade West (scissorluv)**  
>From: <strong> André Harris (makinmusic)**  
><strong>Course I noticed. Probably every single guy in the school did.  
>Yeah, I'm up for smoothies- and I definitely wouldn't expect any more.<strong><br>**

.. 

**To:**Tori Vega (makeitshine)  
><strong>From:<strong>André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject:**uh so

So you and Beck are a couple now? And uh, Beck broke up with Jade?

It's been three months; do you think she'd be interested in moving on? I mean, not that I'm asking but… yeah, I sort of still love her, and it's not going anyway.

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From: <strong>Tori Vega (makeitshine)

**Subject**: re: uh so

I say go for it, André! Follow your heart! And no, Beck and Jade aren't together any more—I figured you'd be pleased to hear that :D

..

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From<strong>: André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject: **uh sorry about this

I just wanted to let you know, since you and Beck have cut things off and all, that I love you. Uh. I mean, I have for a while, and I didn't tell you cause it felt weird to be hittin' on my buddy's girl, but yeah. I love you. I think.

Seriously, you don't have to say anything, but uh, I heard from Beck that you're more interested in making out than feelings, so maybe if you wanna…

Well, I'm rambling, so uh, bye…

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **what?

I'm not sure how to reply to this. I just…. Yeah. Did Vega put you up to this?

p.s. About the whole making out thing… come over to my house in ten. I'll be waiting ;)

..

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From: <strong>André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject: **Making out ;)

Dear Jade,

So, that was a pretty good time, girl. Didn't know that you knew how to do all of that. We should try it again sometime, preferably soon.

André

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **re: Making out ;)

Dear André,

You suck, so much. Yes, that was intended to be a pun. Yes, you do suck figuratively as well. Ugh. You suck. Stop messaging me.

Jade

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From: <strong>André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject: **re: re; Making out ;)

Dear Jade,

Yeah, love you too.

André

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From<strong>: Jade West (scissorluv)

**Subject: **yeah.

Dear André,

I hate you.

Jade

**To: **Jade West (scissorluv)  
><strong>From: <strong>André Harris (makinmusic)

**Subject: **re: yeah

Dear Jade,

You love me, really. You may not admit it, you might deny it to me, but everyone knows that deep inside, you know it's true.

André

**To: **André Harris (makinmusic)  
><strong>From: <strong>Jade West (scissorluv)

Dear André,

Maybe a little.

Jade

P.S. Stop with the smiley faces. They creep me out.

..

**A/N:**

**Dear readers, **

**Sorry for the OOC-ness and general horrible quality of this fic.**

**Mad.**

**R&R and don't fave without reviewing. Reviews mean the world to me **


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